[Translated by tammiest]
“Father, I have sinned. I have gotten pregnant out of wedlock, and everyone has found out! Oh, God!”
Father John seems a little different today… but, this precious young life within me… I want to do my very best to protect him, bless him, make sure that he won’t be bullied as I was…
However, the priest who follows XinYi out of the confessional is actually a young man with a gentle smile on his face…
After the love cruise, XinYi returned to her daily, routine life: at work, she was still that convenient Sticky-Note girl, ordered about by boss and colleagues alike. However, instead of complaining or even feeling resentful, XinYi “accepted” her fate and resigned herself to fulfilling each and every one of their unreasonable requests, even feeling quite happy as she did it.
Because, in her heart, there was a sweet new secret: she had met a prince, and he had given her one magical, dream-like night, comforting her in the aftermath of her heartbreak and making her feel less unwanted.
She had carefully hidden the “lucky” poker chip he’d given her in the lucky charm she’d made herself. She brought it with her everywhere she went, wearing it close to her heart.
She knew that it was probably unlikely that she’d ever have the chance to meet that proud, arrogant, and yet—so gentle—prince again, but it didn’t matter… he would always be in her memories, and she would always remember what he’d said to her…
”XinYi, why are you just staring into space?” The female colleague in the cubicle next to hers asked her. “Your cellphone is ringing!”
”My cellphone? Oh; thank you.” She came back to life and hurriedly picked up. “Wei?”*
* Wei means “hello;” it is used specifically as a greeting over the phone.
”XinYi? This is your brother-in-law.” Wu QiQi’s loud and boisterous voice boomed over the line.
"Brother-in-law, what happened?”
”Nothing, really; I just wanted to ask you... err, after 'that' day... have you been okay?" There was a note of embarrassment in Wu QiQi's voice.
"Mm, I'm really well." Aside from feeling a little under the weather and, occasionally, queasy and like throwing up in recent days, that is.
"Is that true?" Wu QiQi was skeptical. "You were violated by that good-for-nothing bastard, and you actually feel 'really well'?"
"He's not a good-for-nothing jerk," XinYi protested, frowning. "He's actually a pretty nice guy... otherwise, he wouldn't have let you guys off so easily." Considering what the Wu father and son had done, they would have been taken to the police station long ago—if it hadn't been for CunXi.
"Che! Don't be fooled. He was probably just afraid that news of the layoffs would leak out and hurt the reputation of his precious company, Magical Enterprise!”
”He’s said already that business is business. He’s not purposely being hard on you guys.”
”What’s wrong with you?” Wu QiQi yelled at her in dissatisfaction. “Didn’t that guy only sleep with you? Don’t tell me he’s also brainwashed you! Every sentence out of your mouth is in defense of him; are you even a woman of our Jiang Mu Island any more? Traitor!”
Traitor? XinYi was taken aback. This charge was a little too heavy, wasn’t it?
”Forget it! I was just asking whether or not you… it’s best if you aren’t! If that bastard actually dared to leave his seed behind, I’d have to fight him to the death!” After finishing his piece, Wu QiQi hung up in a fit of rage.
What is he talking about? XinYi was puzzled. Why had her brother-in-law called her, anyway?
The female colleague in the cubicle next to hers yelled for her, pulling her out of her revelry. “XinYi, help me make some copies of this file, okay? I need it for the meeting that’s coming up; make ten copies.”
”Oh, okay.” She took the documents from her and made her way to the copier. She was accosted by several of her colleagues—all with demands—along the way.
”XinYi, file these for me.”
”XinYi, you’re going out for lunch today, right? Bring me back a bian dang*, okay?”
* Bian Dang: It’s basically take-out, a boxed lunch. The ones in Taiwan are typically pretty elaborate and filling.
”I want one, too! Also, a Caramel Macchiato from Starbucks.”
”Okay, okay; tell me one by one, okay?” There were simply too many demands from her co-workers; XinYi couldn’t possibly remember them all; hurriedly, she took out a pad of Post-It notes to record their requests. Perhaps, there were too many tasks, after all—she felt dizzy. A wave of nausea and acid came up her throat; she immediately rushed to the women’s room and dry-heaved at the sink.
“What’s wrong, XinYi?” A female colleague walked into the bathroom and asked, smiling, “You’ve been feeling queasy these past few days… you’re not pregnant, are you?”
Her colleague had meant only to tease her, but XinYi stared in shock. She thought of her brother-in-law’s concerned phone call; the last sentence out of his mouth—“ If that bastard actually dared to leave his seed behind”—it wasn’t possible, right?
XinYi’s eyes became large with fear. Was she really pregnant?
__________
Rather than waste any more time, XinYi went by herself to the local convenience store during her lunch break and bought a self-pregnancy test. It was drizzling outside, and XinYi, afraid that she’d be recognized by any of her colleagues, put on a raincoat, a safety helmet, and even a breathing mask. She furtively made her way into the store, purchased her self-pregnancy test, and left, looking nervously all around her as she went.
She had no idea that her clothes and nervous movements, along with the guilty expression on her face, made her seem extremely suspicious to several of the undercover cops who were stationed nearby. They followed her discreetly, keeping contact with each other via walkie-talkie.
Without suspecting a thing, she nervously hurried into her work building and ducked into the restroom.
The undercover police officers followed. Next, a reporters’ van from a TV station pulled up to the building. The reporter had somehow managed to intercept the messages between the police officers and was puffed up with pride at the prospect of a firsthand “exclusive” news report.
After exchanging a few hand signals, several of the police officers charged into the ladies’ room. Covered by the rest of the officers, one officer kicked open the door of a locked stall.
“Ah!” XinYi screamed in panic. At a loss, she could only stare at the big, strong officer who had kicked down the door. “What… what… what do you want?”
“You are under arrest!” The large man brought out a pair of handcuffs and, expressionless, slapped them onto her wrists.
What was going on? XinYi wanted desperately to cry, but she had no tears.
The worst was yet to come, however. As she was dragged out of the restroom by the officer, a bright light suddenly flashed before her face. A TV camera was furiously rolling, and an excited reporter shoved a microphone into her face, shouting, “Miss, how do you feel about being arrested? What are you thinking right now?”
__________
He was in a terrible mood, a fiery mood; he really wanted to find something—anything—and beat it.
“What did you say? Why can’t you come back to Taiwan?” Ji CunXi slammed on the brakes and pulled his beloved car to the side of the road. He glared at the screen of his cellphone, where the charming, lovely face of his girlfriend, Shi Anna appeared.
”Oh, CunXi, don’t be angry!” Anna pleaded with him sweetly. “I know that you’re angry because I accepted the offer from the New York Ballet Company so suddenly, but… just think of me for a second. I’ll be performing Swan Lake at the Lincoln Center! How could I possibly pass up such an incredible opportunity? They wanted me to sign a two-year contract, and I could only agree.”
“So you just decided to leave me in Taiwan by myself for two years?” The expression on CunXi’s face was extremely dark; he was in a very bad mood. “What do you take me for?” Standing him up without a word, deciding to leave Taiwan for two years without discussing it with him. “From the past until now, you’ve only cared about yourself. Have you ever thought about what I wanted?”
”Of course I have!” Anna’s large eyes winked and winked at him, the expression on her face extremely cute. “And you’ve already got it!”
CunXi frowned. “What is it?”
”My heart, of course!” Anna looked at him positively. “I love you, CunXi.” She declared this in a soft, gentle voice and leaned toward the camera, her pretty pink lips blowing him a kiss. “Even though I’m not by your side, my heart is still with you all the time… crying with you and laughing with you… it will always be with you.”
“Anna.” CunXi let out a sigh, feeling helpless. Why was it that he could never stay angry with this woman? He knew full well that she was only using sweet, honeyed words, but he could still feel the tug on his heartstrings. “Have you ever considered that, without you by my side, I might reach out to embrace another woman in my loneliness?”
Anna laughed lightly. “Other men might, perhaps… but the Ji CunXi who loves me so deeply… he would never do so.”
Could she really control him so easily? CunXi was annoyed. “Do you really understand me so well? Perhaps, one day, when you finally turn around, I will already be gone.”
”Well, if that’s the case, I’d better… “ Anna sighed deeply, “take the early flight tomorrow morning and return to you immediately!”
Upon seeing her forlorn expression, CunXi felt his heart soften. The Anna that he loved was a born superstar, meant to be on stage and admired by all. How could he possibly bear to deprive her of fulfilling her dreams? “Forget it; just stay in New York,” he yielded.
”Thank you, CunXi!” Anna gave him a grateful smile. “Thank you for being willing to compromise. That means that I hold a very important position in your heart!” She paused. “Did you know that, when ballerinas perform pirouettes, we must first fix our eyes on a certain target. No matter how we spin, we must never let our eyes leave that spot—otherwise, we will fall easily. The first time I met you… it was because I let my eyes leave my target… and I fell. It was you who brought me flowers after the show and encouraged me to stand up and try again. CunXi, ever since that day… I’ve never fallen again… because I’ve found my real target in life: you. No matter where I am, no matter how I turn, my eyes will always be fixed on you.” This passionate confession moved CunXi.
He gave a long, drawn-out sigh. “Okay; I wish you luck. Jiayou!”
After hanging up with Anna, CunXi sat inside the car for a while, absentmindedly looking out the window at the passing pedestrians.
The woman he loved had left him again. Although it was only for a short two years, he still felt a little lonely. The feeling of waiting… it wasn’t easy. He had experienced it before; when he was young, he had once waited diligently for his traveling parents to return home… he had waited until Grandma honestly told him that they had already gone on to heaven and would never come back again. To be honest, he was afraid of waiting. He hated being left behind… and yet, it seemed that he was always being left behind.
There was a sudden noise outside the window, startling him out of his thoughts. He forced himself to come back to reality, then noticed that a crowd had gathered on the streets. They were pointing at the large television screen and whispering to each other.
The Taiwanese just love to stick their nose into other people’s business!
He shook his head. Just as he was about to turn on his car and leave, he suddenly glimpsed a familiar figure out of the corner of his eye. His eyebrows rose in shock.
Wasn’t that Chen XinYi? What was she doing on television? His eyes glued to the screen intensely, he watched the very confused, lost, and pale XinYi as she held a pregnancy test in one of her shaking hands… it couldn’t be possible, right?
CunXi shuddered suddenly. She was pregnant? And she’d let everybody find out about it?
He had a sudden, uneasy feeling and broke out in a cold sweat. Who was the father of that child? It couldn’t possibly be… him, right?
__________
The father of her child is Ji CunXi, the prince of her dreams, of her ideals... the prince who would never want to marry her.
"Chen XinYi! You big fool! Pregnant out of wedlock? And you got yourself and your embarrassing situation into the news? You’re really done for!”
XinYi really wanted to slam her head into a wall; sure enough, her life was still miserable. She’d originally thought that meeting a prince could bring a little luck her way, but, instead, he’d left her with a huge problem.
What should she do now? XinYi wondered to herself. Not wanting to return to the office and face the laughter of her co-workers just yet, XinYi had hastily requested for a day off. In the course of her aimless wandering, she found herself in front of the St. John’s Home, where she had previously worked as a volunteer.
This particular orphanage was run by a Catholic priest named John. She had met her first boyfriend here; even after he had dumped her, she still came back often to help out with some of the errands and to play with the children.
Under Father John’s influence, XinYi also became a Catholic. Occasionally, when she was feeling particularly worried or concerned, she would come to the Home to seek the advice of the priests there. However, her troubles this time were so serious… how could she speak up about them?
“XinYi Mama, you’ve finally come to see us! Quickly, come here and show us how to make these model sculptures!” The children, completely unsuspecting of XinYi’s inner turmoil, were extremely happy to see her, pulling her with them to the back of the Home to play with the clay.
XinYi had liked to work with clay since she was a child; the children at the orphanage also loved the cute little clay dolls that she would make them. Unfortunately, XinYi wasn’t really in the mood to play with the children today.
“I’m sorry; can I teach you another day?”
“No! It has to be now!” the children insisted. “XinYi Mama doesn’t come to see us very often; play with us!”
Another child chimed in, “Yes, XinYi Mama! Teach us how to make model sculptures!”
The cries of “XinYi Mama! XinYi Mama!” from the children only served to perplex XinYi further. She wasn’t anybody’s mother yet… in fact, her own life was in a mess; how was she to raise a child? She was so afraid… she couldn’t have this child! But… how could she abort the child? There was a little life inside her…
“Where is Father John?” XinYi asked the children.
“I think he’s in the confessional!”
The confessional? Perfect. She desperately needed to make a confession.
“Wait for me for a while, okay? It’ll only be a little bit. I’ll come back later to play with you?” XinYi used a gentle voice to soothe the children. Without waiting for their chime of agreement, she rushed toward the confessional.
It looked like a middle-aged woman had just finished and was leaving the confessional, satisfied. XinYi opened the door and stepped inside. She could barely make out the moving outline of a person through the black curtain hanging in the confessional. Taking a deep breath, she said,
“Father, I have sinned.”
The person on the other side of the curtain seemed to stiffen. After a slight pause, a deep, raspy voice asked, “What is your sin?”
”I… “ XinYi, sitting on the tiny bench, twisted her hands in her lap nervously. “Father, don’t be too shocked… I… I am pregnant.”
The other person was silent.
XinYi thought that the kindly old Father John had been shocked into silence. She hurried to explain, “I really didn’t mean for this to happen! I don’t even know how I wound up in bed with that man… or how we could possibly ‘get it in one shot’! I… I… aiii, it’s all my fault. I shouldn’t have acted so impulsively that day and signed up for a love cruise, of all things. In the end, not only was I dumped, but I was also left with a huge debt and… “ The story came out in a messy, unorganized rush, without any details or sequencing.
After she’d finished her speech, the other person was silent for a long time before offering his opinion: “This is the strangest story I’ve ever heard.”
Was he making fun of her? XinYi was confused; she thought she had heard a bit of humor in the voice of the man. Did even Father John not sympathize with her?
She was on the verge of going crazy. Panicked and confused, her feelings pent up inside her for too long—“Father, I know that I’m very stupid, but please… don’t make fun of me.”
”I’m sorry.” He coughed twice. “So then… what do you plan to do?”
”I… “ XinYi paused. She suddenly felt that there was something wrong. “Father, is there something wrong with your voice?”
”It’s nothing.” He coughed twice again. “It’s just that my throat doesn’t feel very well.”
”Is it a cold? Have you gone to see the doctor yet?” XinYi asked anxiously.
”I’m fine.” The man was amused. This girl was certainly unique… although she had plenty of troubles herself, she still found the time to worry over others? “You should think about what you’re going to do next.”
”I… I really don’t know.” XinYi was at a loss. “Father, please tell me… what should I do?”
”This… hmm… if you ask me, an abortion is your best option.”
”What?!” XinYi asked in shock. She couldn’t believe that Father John could make such a suggestion to her! An abortion? Wasn’t that strictly against the teachings of the Catholic Church? “Father… didn’t you say… that every child is a gift from God… every child is a precious life!”
”Did I? I said this?” he muttered to himself in confusion. “But… if you don’t get an abortion, are you really going to give birth to the child? Can you raise him by yourself?”
”I… I probably can’t.” XinYi had very little confidence in herself.
”Then, get rid of it.”
”No! How can I do that?” XinYi protested immediately. “This child’s life is precious! No matter what, he’s still my child… although I don’t know whether his appearance is lucky or unlucky… but, if I were to give birth to him, I would definitely try my hardest to love him and bring him up well. I would give him all the best! I would protect him; I wouldn’t let anyone make fun of him or bully him!” That’s right; she wouldn’t let anybody treat him like that! All of the wrongs, all of the injustices and hurts she’d suffered as a child… she’d never let her child go through the same experiences!
”I want to love him properly, give him all of my love… I want to tell him that he is the best, the best… my most precious treasure… “ XinYi’s voice trailed off as her eyes filled with tears and a sob came up her throat.
How could she reject her own baby? How could she abandon her own flesh and blood? She understood the feeling of being abandoned more than anyone else…
”Father, I really can’t get an abortion just like that… I… I need some more time to think about this.” After finishing her piece, she brushed away her tears and left the confesionnal in a rush.
After a while, a man came out of the other side of the confessional. He was not whom XinYi had assumed—the old, kindly Father John. Instead, he was a handsome, dashing, and debonair young man.
Ponderingly. he watched XinYi’s back as she disappeared from sight, a slight, gentle smile tugging at the corner of his lips.
”Dylan Papa, you were here all along? I was looking for you for a long time!” A little boy suddenly appeared out of nowhere, clutching at his leg. “Hurry; XinYi Mama is here! I want to introduce you guys!”
__________
At the same time that XinYi was in a whirl over her new slew of problems, CunXi was staring at his own problem, brought to him in an express mail delivery.
It was a computer disk. It contained photos of him and Chen XinYi tangled together in bed. It had come, obviously, from the Wu father and son. The motive behind its delivery, of course, was to blackmail him into not laying off any of the factory workers.
Had the father-son pair seriously not done enough yet? CunXi felt both angry and helpless at the same time. He had never met anyone so ruthless in “battle” before! They could actually use a disk containing compromising photos of the younger sister of their daughter-in-law and wife, respectively, as blackmail material! Did they really think that putting a mosaic over the woman’s face would solve everything? If this were actually leaked or released to the public, those people who are always spoiling for a scandal would no doubt be able to find out the identity of the “anonymous” woman in the photos.
Were they really not afraid that Chen XinYi would be hurt by this? Or did they just not care?
So stupid. Why was it that everyone around that girl was only looking to use her? He thought these people were not worth her time.
The more CunXi thought about it, the more angry and indignant he became. He decided to go to Jiang Mu Island, obtain the original files, and put a complete end to this ridiculous layoff “argument”!
“Father, I have sinned. I have gotten pregnant out of wedlock, and everyone has found out! Oh, God!”
Father John seems a little different today… but, this precious young life within me… I want to do my very best to protect him, bless him, make sure that he won’t be bullied as I was…
However, the priest who follows XinYi out of the confessional is actually a young man with a gentle smile on his face…
After the love cruise, XinYi returned to her daily, routine life: at work, she was still that convenient Sticky-Note girl, ordered about by boss and colleagues alike. However, instead of complaining or even feeling resentful, XinYi “accepted” her fate and resigned herself to fulfilling each and every one of their unreasonable requests, even feeling quite happy as she did it.
Because, in her heart, there was a sweet new secret: she had met a prince, and he had given her one magical, dream-like night, comforting her in the aftermath of her heartbreak and making her feel less unwanted.
She had carefully hidden the “lucky” poker chip he’d given her in the lucky charm she’d made herself. She brought it with her everywhere she went, wearing it close to her heart.
She knew that it was probably unlikely that she’d ever have the chance to meet that proud, arrogant, and yet—so gentle—prince again, but it didn’t matter… he would always be in her memories, and she would always remember what he’d said to her…
”XinYi, why are you just staring into space?” The female colleague in the cubicle next to hers asked her. “Your cellphone is ringing!”
”My cellphone? Oh; thank you.” She came back to life and hurriedly picked up. “Wei?”*
* Wei means “hello;” it is used specifically as a greeting over the phone.
”XinYi? This is your brother-in-law.” Wu QiQi’s loud and boisterous voice boomed over the line.
"Brother-in-law, what happened?”
”Nothing, really; I just wanted to ask you... err, after 'that' day... have you been okay?" There was a note of embarrassment in Wu QiQi's voice.
"Mm, I'm really well." Aside from feeling a little under the weather and, occasionally, queasy and like throwing up in recent days, that is.
"Is that true?" Wu QiQi was skeptical. "You were violated by that good-for-nothing bastard, and you actually feel 'really well'?"
"He's not a good-for-nothing jerk," XinYi protested, frowning. "He's actually a pretty nice guy... otherwise, he wouldn't have let you guys off so easily." Considering what the Wu father and son had done, they would have been taken to the police station long ago—if it hadn't been for CunXi.
"Che! Don't be fooled. He was probably just afraid that news of the layoffs would leak out and hurt the reputation of his precious company, Magical Enterprise!”
”He’s said already that business is business. He’s not purposely being hard on you guys.”
”What’s wrong with you?” Wu QiQi yelled at her in dissatisfaction. “Didn’t that guy only sleep with you? Don’t tell me he’s also brainwashed you! Every sentence out of your mouth is in defense of him; are you even a woman of our Jiang Mu Island any more? Traitor!”
Traitor? XinYi was taken aback. This charge was a little too heavy, wasn’t it?
”Forget it! I was just asking whether or not you… it’s best if you aren’t! If that bastard actually dared to leave his seed behind, I’d have to fight him to the death!” After finishing his piece, Wu QiQi hung up in a fit of rage.
What is he talking about? XinYi was puzzled. Why had her brother-in-law called her, anyway?
The female colleague in the cubicle next to hers yelled for her, pulling her out of her revelry. “XinYi, help me make some copies of this file, okay? I need it for the meeting that’s coming up; make ten copies.”
”Oh, okay.” She took the documents from her and made her way to the copier. She was accosted by several of her colleagues—all with demands—along the way.
”XinYi, file these for me.”
”XinYi, you’re going out for lunch today, right? Bring me back a bian dang*, okay?”
* Bian Dang: It’s basically take-out, a boxed lunch. The ones in Taiwan are typically pretty elaborate and filling.
”I want one, too! Also, a Caramel Macchiato from Starbucks.”
”Okay, okay; tell me one by one, okay?” There were simply too many demands from her co-workers; XinYi couldn’t possibly remember them all; hurriedly, she took out a pad of Post-It notes to record their requests. Perhaps, there were too many tasks, after all—she felt dizzy. A wave of nausea and acid came up her throat; she immediately rushed to the women’s room and dry-heaved at the sink.
“What’s wrong, XinYi?” A female colleague walked into the bathroom and asked, smiling, “You’ve been feeling queasy these past few days… you’re not pregnant, are you?”
Her colleague had meant only to tease her, but XinYi stared in shock. She thought of her brother-in-law’s concerned phone call; the last sentence out of his mouth—“ If that bastard actually dared to leave his seed behind”—it wasn’t possible, right?
XinYi’s eyes became large with fear. Was she really pregnant?
__________
Rather than waste any more time, XinYi went by herself to the local convenience store during her lunch break and bought a self-pregnancy test. It was drizzling outside, and XinYi, afraid that she’d be recognized by any of her colleagues, put on a raincoat, a safety helmet, and even a breathing mask. She furtively made her way into the store, purchased her self-pregnancy test, and left, looking nervously all around her as she went.
She had no idea that her clothes and nervous movements, along with the guilty expression on her face, made her seem extremely suspicious to several of the undercover cops who were stationed nearby. They followed her discreetly, keeping contact with each other via walkie-talkie.
Without suspecting a thing, she nervously hurried into her work building and ducked into the restroom.
The undercover police officers followed. Next, a reporters’ van from a TV station pulled up to the building. The reporter had somehow managed to intercept the messages between the police officers and was puffed up with pride at the prospect of a firsthand “exclusive” news report.
After exchanging a few hand signals, several of the police officers charged into the ladies’ room. Covered by the rest of the officers, one officer kicked open the door of a locked stall.
“Ah!” XinYi screamed in panic. At a loss, she could only stare at the big, strong officer who had kicked down the door. “What… what… what do you want?”
“You are under arrest!” The large man brought out a pair of handcuffs and, expressionless, slapped them onto her wrists.
What was going on? XinYi wanted desperately to cry, but she had no tears.
The worst was yet to come, however. As she was dragged out of the restroom by the officer, a bright light suddenly flashed before her face. A TV camera was furiously rolling, and an excited reporter shoved a microphone into her face, shouting, “Miss, how do you feel about being arrested? What are you thinking right now?”
__________
He was in a terrible mood, a fiery mood; he really wanted to find something—anything—and beat it.
“What did you say? Why can’t you come back to Taiwan?” Ji CunXi slammed on the brakes and pulled his beloved car to the side of the road. He glared at the screen of his cellphone, where the charming, lovely face of his girlfriend, Shi Anna appeared.
”Oh, CunXi, don’t be angry!” Anna pleaded with him sweetly. “I know that you’re angry because I accepted the offer from the New York Ballet Company so suddenly, but… just think of me for a second. I’ll be performing Swan Lake at the Lincoln Center! How could I possibly pass up such an incredible opportunity? They wanted me to sign a two-year contract, and I could only agree.”
“So you just decided to leave me in Taiwan by myself for two years?” The expression on CunXi’s face was extremely dark; he was in a very bad mood. “What do you take me for?” Standing him up without a word, deciding to leave Taiwan for two years without discussing it with him. “From the past until now, you’ve only cared about yourself. Have you ever thought about what I wanted?”
”Of course I have!” Anna’s large eyes winked and winked at him, the expression on her face extremely cute. “And you’ve already got it!”
CunXi frowned. “What is it?”
”My heart, of course!” Anna looked at him positively. “I love you, CunXi.” She declared this in a soft, gentle voice and leaned toward the camera, her pretty pink lips blowing him a kiss. “Even though I’m not by your side, my heart is still with you all the time… crying with you and laughing with you… it will always be with you.”
“Anna.” CunXi let out a sigh, feeling helpless. Why was it that he could never stay angry with this woman? He knew full well that she was only using sweet, honeyed words, but he could still feel the tug on his heartstrings. “Have you ever considered that, without you by my side, I might reach out to embrace another woman in my loneliness?”
Anna laughed lightly. “Other men might, perhaps… but the Ji CunXi who loves me so deeply… he would never do so.”
Could she really control him so easily? CunXi was annoyed. “Do you really understand me so well? Perhaps, one day, when you finally turn around, I will already be gone.”
”Well, if that’s the case, I’d better… “ Anna sighed deeply, “take the early flight tomorrow morning and return to you immediately!”
Upon seeing her forlorn expression, CunXi felt his heart soften. The Anna that he loved was a born superstar, meant to be on stage and admired by all. How could he possibly bear to deprive her of fulfilling her dreams? “Forget it; just stay in New York,” he yielded.
”Thank you, CunXi!” Anna gave him a grateful smile. “Thank you for being willing to compromise. That means that I hold a very important position in your heart!” She paused. “Did you know that, when ballerinas perform pirouettes, we must first fix our eyes on a certain target. No matter how we spin, we must never let our eyes leave that spot—otherwise, we will fall easily. The first time I met you… it was because I let my eyes leave my target… and I fell. It was you who brought me flowers after the show and encouraged me to stand up and try again. CunXi, ever since that day… I’ve never fallen again… because I’ve found my real target in life: you. No matter where I am, no matter how I turn, my eyes will always be fixed on you.” This passionate confession moved CunXi.
He gave a long, drawn-out sigh. “Okay; I wish you luck. Jiayou!”
After hanging up with Anna, CunXi sat inside the car for a while, absentmindedly looking out the window at the passing pedestrians.
The woman he loved had left him again. Although it was only for a short two years, he still felt a little lonely. The feeling of waiting… it wasn’t easy. He had experienced it before; when he was young, he had once waited diligently for his traveling parents to return home… he had waited until Grandma honestly told him that they had already gone on to heaven and would never come back again. To be honest, he was afraid of waiting. He hated being left behind… and yet, it seemed that he was always being left behind.
There was a sudden noise outside the window, startling him out of his thoughts. He forced himself to come back to reality, then noticed that a crowd had gathered on the streets. They were pointing at the large television screen and whispering to each other.
The Taiwanese just love to stick their nose into other people’s business!
He shook his head. Just as he was about to turn on his car and leave, he suddenly glimpsed a familiar figure out of the corner of his eye. His eyebrows rose in shock.
Wasn’t that Chen XinYi? What was she doing on television? His eyes glued to the screen intensely, he watched the very confused, lost, and pale XinYi as she held a pregnancy test in one of her shaking hands… it couldn’t be possible, right?
CunXi shuddered suddenly. She was pregnant? And she’d let everybody find out about it?
He had a sudden, uneasy feeling and broke out in a cold sweat. Who was the father of that child? It couldn’t possibly be… him, right?
__________
The father of her child is Ji CunXi, the prince of her dreams, of her ideals... the prince who would never want to marry her.
"Chen XinYi! You big fool! Pregnant out of wedlock? And you got yourself and your embarrassing situation into the news? You’re really done for!”
XinYi really wanted to slam her head into a wall; sure enough, her life was still miserable. She’d originally thought that meeting a prince could bring a little luck her way, but, instead, he’d left her with a huge problem.
What should she do now? XinYi wondered to herself. Not wanting to return to the office and face the laughter of her co-workers just yet, XinYi had hastily requested for a day off. In the course of her aimless wandering, she found herself in front of the St. John’s Home, where she had previously worked as a volunteer.
This particular orphanage was run by a Catholic priest named John. She had met her first boyfriend here; even after he had dumped her, she still came back often to help out with some of the errands and to play with the children.
Under Father John’s influence, XinYi also became a Catholic. Occasionally, when she was feeling particularly worried or concerned, she would come to the Home to seek the advice of the priests there. However, her troubles this time were so serious… how could she speak up about them?
“XinYi Mama, you’ve finally come to see us! Quickly, come here and show us how to make these model sculptures!” The children, completely unsuspecting of XinYi’s inner turmoil, were extremely happy to see her, pulling her with them to the back of the Home to play with the clay.
XinYi had liked to work with clay since she was a child; the children at the orphanage also loved the cute little clay dolls that she would make them. Unfortunately, XinYi wasn’t really in the mood to play with the children today.
“I’m sorry; can I teach you another day?”
“No! It has to be now!” the children insisted. “XinYi Mama doesn’t come to see us very often; play with us!”
Another child chimed in, “Yes, XinYi Mama! Teach us how to make model sculptures!”
The cries of “XinYi Mama! XinYi Mama!” from the children only served to perplex XinYi further. She wasn’t anybody’s mother yet… in fact, her own life was in a mess; how was she to raise a child? She was so afraid… she couldn’t have this child! But… how could she abort the child? There was a little life inside her…
“Where is Father John?” XinYi asked the children.
“I think he’s in the confessional!”
The confessional? Perfect. She desperately needed to make a confession.
“Wait for me for a while, okay? It’ll only be a little bit. I’ll come back later to play with you?” XinYi used a gentle voice to soothe the children. Without waiting for their chime of agreement, she rushed toward the confessional.
It looked like a middle-aged woman had just finished and was leaving the confessional, satisfied. XinYi opened the door and stepped inside. She could barely make out the moving outline of a person through the black curtain hanging in the confessional. Taking a deep breath, she said,
“Father, I have sinned.”
The person on the other side of the curtain seemed to stiffen. After a slight pause, a deep, raspy voice asked, “What is your sin?”
”I… “ XinYi, sitting on the tiny bench, twisted her hands in her lap nervously. “Father, don’t be too shocked… I… I am pregnant.”
The other person was silent.
XinYi thought that the kindly old Father John had been shocked into silence. She hurried to explain, “I really didn’t mean for this to happen! I don’t even know how I wound up in bed with that man… or how we could possibly ‘get it in one shot’! I… I… aiii, it’s all my fault. I shouldn’t have acted so impulsively that day and signed up for a love cruise, of all things. In the end, not only was I dumped, but I was also left with a huge debt and… “ The story came out in a messy, unorganized rush, without any details or sequencing.
After she’d finished her speech, the other person was silent for a long time before offering his opinion: “This is the strangest story I’ve ever heard.”
Was he making fun of her? XinYi was confused; she thought she had heard a bit of humor in the voice of the man. Did even Father John not sympathize with her?
She was on the verge of going crazy. Panicked and confused, her feelings pent up inside her for too long—“Father, I know that I’m very stupid, but please… don’t make fun of me.”
”I’m sorry.” He coughed twice. “So then… what do you plan to do?”
”I… “ XinYi paused. She suddenly felt that there was something wrong. “Father, is there something wrong with your voice?”
”It’s nothing.” He coughed twice again. “It’s just that my throat doesn’t feel very well.”
”Is it a cold? Have you gone to see the doctor yet?” XinYi asked anxiously.
”I’m fine.” The man was amused. This girl was certainly unique… although she had plenty of troubles herself, she still found the time to worry over others? “You should think about what you’re going to do next.”
”I… I really don’t know.” XinYi was at a loss. “Father, please tell me… what should I do?”
”This… hmm… if you ask me, an abortion is your best option.”
”What?!” XinYi asked in shock. She couldn’t believe that Father John could make such a suggestion to her! An abortion? Wasn’t that strictly against the teachings of the Catholic Church? “Father… didn’t you say… that every child is a gift from God… every child is a precious life!”
”Did I? I said this?” he muttered to himself in confusion. “But… if you don’t get an abortion, are you really going to give birth to the child? Can you raise him by yourself?”
”I… I probably can’t.” XinYi had very little confidence in herself.
”Then, get rid of it.”
”No! How can I do that?” XinYi protested immediately. “This child’s life is precious! No matter what, he’s still my child… although I don’t know whether his appearance is lucky or unlucky… but, if I were to give birth to him, I would definitely try my hardest to love him and bring him up well. I would give him all the best! I would protect him; I wouldn’t let anyone make fun of him or bully him!” That’s right; she wouldn’t let anybody treat him like that! All of the wrongs, all of the injustices and hurts she’d suffered as a child… she’d never let her child go through the same experiences!
”I want to love him properly, give him all of my love… I want to tell him that he is the best, the best… my most precious treasure… “ XinYi’s voice trailed off as her eyes filled with tears and a sob came up her throat.
How could she reject her own baby? How could she abandon her own flesh and blood? She understood the feeling of being abandoned more than anyone else…
”Father, I really can’t get an abortion just like that… I… I need some more time to think about this.” After finishing her piece, she brushed away her tears and left the confesionnal in a rush.
After a while, a man came out of the other side of the confessional. He was not whom XinYi had assumed—the old, kindly Father John. Instead, he was a handsome, dashing, and debonair young man.
Ponderingly. he watched XinYi’s back as she disappeared from sight, a slight, gentle smile tugging at the corner of his lips.
”Dylan Papa, you were here all along? I was looking for you for a long time!” A little boy suddenly appeared out of nowhere, clutching at his leg. “Hurry; XinYi Mama is here! I want to introduce you guys!”
__________
At the same time that XinYi was in a whirl over her new slew of problems, CunXi was staring at his own problem, brought to him in an express mail delivery.
It was a computer disk. It contained photos of him and Chen XinYi tangled together in bed. It had come, obviously, from the Wu father and son. The motive behind its delivery, of course, was to blackmail him into not laying off any of the factory workers.
Had the father-son pair seriously not done enough yet? CunXi felt both angry and helpless at the same time. He had never met anyone so ruthless in “battle” before! They could actually use a disk containing compromising photos of the younger sister of their daughter-in-law and wife, respectively, as blackmail material! Did they really think that putting a mosaic over the woman’s face would solve everything? If this were actually leaked or released to the public, those people who are always spoiling for a scandal would no doubt be able to find out the identity of the “anonymous” woman in the photos.
Were they really not afraid that Chen XinYi would be hurt by this? Or did they just not care?
So stupid. Why was it that everyone around that girl was only looking to use her? He thought these people were not worth her time.
The more CunXi thought about it, the more angry and indignant he became. He decided to go to Jiang Mu Island, obtain the original files, and put a complete end to this ridiculous layoff “argument”!
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