[Edited by Beauty_Karova]
Even though this marriage is not based on love, I will not betray you.
Xin Yi slowly builds up a relationship with Granny. She uncovers her specialty and imitates one of Master’s Zhong Shan Long ceramic works to give to Granny. Cun Xi, who sees his wife chatting intimately with another man, cannot suppress his jealousy and without clarifying the situation, confronts Xin Yi in front of Granny.
Cun Xi’s support gives Xin Yi courage and she is no longer afraid of the servants. At the very least, she is still the lady of the house. She should make requests when the situation calls for it.
“I wish to look at the past menus.” She asks the kitchen staff and observes Cun Xi and Zhen Zhu’s eating habits. She notes down their likes and dislikes and often interacts with the housekeeper to ask about the Ji family’s daily affairs. Even though she does not have to handle the matters herself, she has to keep an eye on them sometimes.
She also takes the initiative to get closer to Zhen Zhu. Granny likes ceramic art and keeps a workplace in the backyard. It even has a kiln where she can make ceramics for fun. Xin Yi sometimes joins her and gives her opinions.
“So you know this too?” Zhen Zhu is pleasantly surprised.
“I like it since childhood but I don’t have such a good studio like granny.” Xin Yi smiles. “Granny’s craft is much better than mine.”
“I only make them for fun.” When Zhen Zhu sees that this granddaughter-in-law is able to form a beautiful shape with ease and she is full of admiration. “Looks like you have some talent! Xin Yi, do you want me to hire a master to teach you?”
“No need!” Xin Yi quickly waves her hand. “I am doing it for fun. I have never thought about being a ceramic artist.”
“Why not?” Zhen Zhu raises her eyebrows. “You are still young and have potential. If you study under a master, you have a bright future ahead of you.”
She? Bright future? Xin Yi shakes her head. It never crosses her mind that such a wonderful thing can happen to her. She doesn’t dare to dream too big, because she can never achieve it.
“You have too little confidence in yourself.” Zhen Zhu seems to read her mind. “You should trust granny. I specialize in collecting ceramic arts, so my judgment is quite accurate. If I say you have talent, you definitely have… That’s right, some day I should ask Dylon to look at your work and let him appraise it.”
“Dylon?” Xin Yi is surprised. This name, is it the same man who gave her the lucky bowl? “Who is he?”
“He is an art broker. Normally I buy my ceramic arts through him. He is very familiar with master Zhong Shan Long.”
“Master Zhong Shan Long?” Xin Yi says in surprise. “He is the ceramic master that I idolize the most!”
“I love his works too.” Zhen Zhu smiles and her eyes turn misty. “When we were young we were once in love.”
“Really?” Xin Yi is curious. “What happened?”
“That took place a long time ago…” Zhen Zhu sighs and slowly talks about her first love that she has missed.
In this manner, the relationship between the two women deepens as each day passes by. Originally Zhen Zhu only treated Xin Yi as the mother of her great-grandson. But slowly she grows to like her and often privately reminds her grandson to treat his wife better.
Even though Cun Xi feels that he should not neglect Xin Yi, he still feels guarded. So he continues to blow hot and cold, and maintains a distance from his wife.
Xin Yi understands his confusion and does not ask for more. She quietly cares for Cun Xi in her own way. When she learns that Cun Xi does not like to eat out and prefers plain food, she make his lunch herself and asks the servant to send it to his office. She knows that he is busy with meetings and doesn't have time for meals, so she make healthy sandwiches that can be eaten while he is reading documents. He is sick of eating the same type of food every day, so she tries to vary the tastes.
She carefully hand-washes his strawberry blanket. His study is full of Anna’s photos and she wipes the photo frames for him. His time is precious, so she helps him to prepare his shirt and tie every morning so that he does not have to worry about them.
He goes out early in the morning and returns home late at night. They seldom have time to talk so she leaves messages on sticky notes for him everywhere. Like reminding him not to work too late at night in the study, eat supper if he is hungry and wear more clothes when it is cold.
She actually doesn’t know what a wife should do but she tries to do whatever she can. Because she wants to care for him and wishes that he will be well and happy.
She doesn’t want to trouble him. Even though this marriage can last only for roughly nine months, she doesn’t want to bring any disturbance to him. She will buy baby care books herself and go to hospital for checkups on her own.
“Today you come alone again?” The gynaecologist asks Xin Yi.
“Umm, that’s right.” She smiles a little awkwardly. The doctor tells her immediately that he wishes that her husband will accompany her. “Cun Xi… My husband is too busy at work, he can’t take the time off.”
“Then find a way to take time off. This is his baby too.” The doctor is a little disapproving. “The pregnant mother has many particulars. I want to explain to him and ask him to take note.”
“You can tell them to me, doctor.”
“All right.” The doctor looks at her for a while. “Is your condition of vomiting still very serious recently?”
“Yes, a little bit…”
After the examination has ended, Xin Yi leaves the clinic. She is holding the ultrasonic scan in her hand and smiles at it foolishly—the baby is really growing little by little! Will it be a boy or a girl? The doctor says that he can’t determine the gender yet but she hopes that it will be a cute and handsome boy like his father.
But no matter what the baby looks like, she can only look at him once. When the time comes, she has to leave the Ji family, leave her baby and leave… him.
When she is thinks about this part, Xin Yi silently stands where she is.
“Hey! Isn’t this my ex-girlfriend who causes uproar with her pregnancy, Chen Xin Yi?” A sarcastic voice calls out behind her.
It’s Gucci! She looks back and is stunned at to see her ex-boyfriend looking at her maliciously.
Gucci laughed sinisterly and look at her from head to toe. “Well? Coming to see the gynaecologist alone by yourself? Are you thinking of having an abortion? That rich boyfriend of yours refuses to bear responsibility?”
She frowns and tries to ignore him, but his voice continues to taunt her.
“I already told you. Why will any man want a fish rod girl like you, who have no looks and no figures? He was only fooling around with you!” Gucci’s manner is caustic.
She stares at him. “What are you doing here?”
“Me? I am accompanying my woman for an examination.” When he says this, a petite woman comes over. Xin Yi recognizes Rebecca, the woman whom Gucci met on the cruise. Gucci pulls her over and smiles in triumph. “Let me introduce, this is my fiancée.”
“Hey! Gucci, isn’t this your fish rod ex-girlfriend?” Rebecca is as caustic as Gucci. “Why? She is seeing the gynaecologist alone by herself? Is she going for an abortion?”
“I came here for an examination!” Xin Yi can’t take it anymore and answers back.
“Having an examination?” Gucci sneers. “Really? You really intend to have the baby? Aren’t you afraid that being a single mother will be difficult?”
“I am married!”
“Married?” Rebecca raises her eyebrows. “Who? Who will marry you?”
“Me!” A sharp voice rings out.
The three of them turn their heads in surprise. Using large strides, Cun Xi walks over coldly. He takes Xin Yi in his arms and says protectively.
“I, Ji Cun Xi, have married Chen Xin Yi. Do you have any problems with that?”
“No, no!” Gucci turns pale. When he remembers how badly he lost at the casino on the cruise, he still feels apprehensive and quickly leaves with Rebecca.
“You… why are you here?” Xin Yi can’t believe her eyes.
“You dare to ask!” Cun Xi looks at her in disapproval. “Why did you go for the gynaecologist examination alone by yourself? Granny told me that the doctor had asked me to accompany you during your last examination.”
“But… I thought you are busy…”
“The baby is mine too, don’t forget that!” Cun Xi rebukes her and pulls her along to the clinic. After the doctor told them of the things they should pay close attention to, they leave the clinic.”
“Aren’t you busy in your company? Quickly go back.” Xin Yi urges him to go.
“What about you?”
“I want to buy some baby products. Granny says that it’s time to decorate the baby room…”
“Then I’ll go with you.”
“What? You go with me…”
“Stop nagging. Let’s go!” Cun Xi stops Xin Yi forcefully.
He is not happy. He didn’t expect Xin Yi to go for the examination alone and get mocked by people. He married her because he didn’t want her to suffer the disapproval of others but she still suffers.
It’s his fault for neglecting, his fault for not bearing the responsibility of a husband. From today onwards, this will be corrected, he decides gloomily.
He accompanies Xin Yi to the baby store. Xin Yi is delighted at everything she sees. She holds up a pair to tiny shoes and asks excitedly. “Cun Xi, which color is nice? Blue or red?”
“Anything.”
“I like red color but if the baby is a boy, then won't the blue be better?” Xin Yi hesitates.
“Isn’t this easy?” Cun Xi says. “Just buy both colors.” He orders the shop assistant to wrap up everything that Xin Yi likes and buys two sets of every item. “Now regardless of whether we have a boy or girl, we can use them.”
“But isn’t this too wasteful?” Xin Yi is speechless. He nearly buys up all the items in the shop.
“Our family can afford it.” Cun Xi doesn’t think much about it.
Rich people are really different! Xin Yi smiles weakly. She better not shop with him in future, otherwise he will probably buy up another store.
“That’s right. We should buy some clothes for you.” Once Cun Xi decides on this, he drags her to another shop selling maternity clothes. In the end he really buys up half the items in the shop.
“I can’t wear so many!” Xin Yi protests. Who will buy so many maternity clothes? It’s only for nine months, what a waste!
“Then wear a different one each day, you won’t get tired of them like this.” He says lightly.
Xin Yi looks at the nonchalant Cun Xi and feels flattered. No matter what, he is using his own ways to care for her.
“Thank you.” She thanks him.
“Thank for what?” Cun Xi frowns and he becomes serious. “Don’t say thanks and sorry at every turn. This is nothing.” This is only the duty of a husband.
“Regardless, I still want to thank you.” Xin Yi smiles gratefully.
-------------------------------
Since that day, the distance between them grows closer. Cun Xi will accompany Xin Yi to see the gynaecologist and takes the initiative to care about her health. He learns from the doctor that letting pregnant mothers drink garlic chives ginger juice and eat white sugar vinegar egg will improve their vomiting condition, so he personally makes sure that the kitchen makes some for Xin Yi.
His attentiveness touches Xin Yi. No one has ever been so nice to her. All her previous boyfriends expected her to be the one to make sacrifices, but none sacrifice for her in turn. But he always helps her whenever she is in trouble.
A person like him deserves happiness. She decides to do more for him and teaches him how to be a good father before she leaves the Ji family. She hopes that he, the baby and Anna can form a happy family in future.
“Cun Xi, look.” She makes him read the baby care books together with her. “Look at this baby, isn’t he cute?”
“Hmm. It’s quite cute.” Cun Xi glances at the picture carelessly.
“Look, the book says that babies who are newly born are easily injured. When you bath the baby, you must spread a towel below to prevent slippage, and remember to protect the neck when you carry the baby…”
“Let the nanny take note of these.” Cun Xi interrupts her. “Don’t worry. We will hire a professional nanny to care for the baby when the time comes.”
“But the nanny is not the real parent. She won’t give the baby her full love!” She is slightly agitated and worries that the baby will have no one to love him. The nanny and even the grandma cannot replace a parent’s love.
If she, the mother, cannot remain at the side of the baby, then as the father he must love him.
“Please spend more time with the baby in future, even if only to talk to him.” She pleads.
Cun Xi looks at her gravely and seems to understand her anxiety. His eyes darken and he nods his head. “I understand.”
That puts her at ease and she continues to share the contents of the books with him. He looks at the smile on her face and is dazed. Maybe all pregnant women give off a motherly glow. He feels that she looks kind and beautiful, making him think of his own mother.
When his mother carried him, did she share baby knowledge with his father so earnestly?
“Xin Yi, you…”
“What?”
He wants to ask, after a few months when she must leave her own baby, will she be sad? But he doesn't dare and can only look at her.
Xin Yi feels strange and is about to ask him when her hand phone rings suddenly. She answers the phone. “Hello, who is this?”
“I am Dylon, do you remember?” The other party says laughingly.
“Dylon? It’s you!” She cries in delight. Cun Xi hears her and frowns. She waves her hand apologetically and leaves the room to talk at the hallway. “Why do you call?”
“I got your number from the orphanage and wanted to ask after you.” Dylon explains. “Do you mind?”
“Why would I? I should have called to thank you for giving me that ceramic bowl.”
“That’s nothing. Well? Is your marriage life happy? Does your husband treat you well?”
“He treats me very well.” Xin Yi smiles and takes a look inside the room. Cun Xi is flipping though the baby care book. “Right, Dylon, I was about to ask you. Do you know Ji Zhen Zhu?”
“How do you know?” Dylon enquires.
“So you are really the art broker that granny talks about?”
“Granny?”
“Um. Actually my husband is Ji Cun Xi.” She lowers her voice.
“What? You married Ji Cun Xi?” Dylon utters in wonder. “Is he the one who had a one night stand with you on the cruise?”
“How do you know?” Now it’s Xin Yi’s turn to be surprised. She thinks for a while and asks unhappily. “Did Father Norman tell you?” How can the priest tell her confession to another person?
“Don’t blame the priest. Actually it’s me who heard it accidentally.” Dylon admits sheepishly that he impersonated the priest and listened to her confession. “I did not mean it, please forgive me.”
What's the use to stay angry? He already knows everything. Xin Yi has no choice but then a thought occurs to her. “Since you owe me, can you do me a favor?”
“What favor? Just say the word!”
“I want to give granny a present but I can’t afford it, so I need to make it myself. I heard that you are on close terms with master Zhong Shan Long. Can you teach me how to make a ceramic art that imitates his style?”
“You want to make it yourself?” Dylon smiles. “No problem! I’ll give you some opinions.”
Therefore the two of them arranges a time. Xin Yi hangs up the phone and returns to the bedroom.
“Who called?” Cun Xi asks.
“A friend.” She hesitates and continues. “He is the one who gave me the ceramic bowl by master Zhong Shan Long.”
“Him?” Cun Xi closes his eyes and thinks of her putting her cherished ceramic bowl in the room carefully. She looks at the bowl several times a day. He feels a stir of jealousy. “Since he is so generous, he is close to you?”
“Well...” Actually they don’t know each other well. “Come, let us continue to read the book.”
-----------------------------
Cun Xi realizes that he minds.
He dwells upon his wife treating that ceramic bowl as precious and her delighted expression when she receives that man’s call that night.
He doesn’t understand why he cares. Xin Yi has the right to make friends of the other sex. A friend treating her well and giving her such an expensive art work is none of his business.
He is only… a little worried about her. Her luck when it comes to men is really bad. She is always dumped and used by others. He doesn’t want her to be cheated again.
It’s only for this reason, he tells himself, but can’t help keeping track of his wife’s whereabouts. Ever since she received that call, she often goes out and sometime even returns home at a later time than him. When he asks, she only says that she is keeping touch with her friends.
Is she meeting another man secretly? Cun Xi fumes subconsciously. Even though their marriage is only a contract for nine months, she should still respect her status of being Mrs. Ji. What is the meaning of this secrecy?
He gets even angrier when Anson accidentally sees Xin Yi with a man on the streets. The man was holding her and they behaved intimately.
He keeps his temper and tells Anson to mind his own business but he takes the matter to heart. One night, Xin Yi leaves immediately when she receives a call. He can’t help trailing her secretly in his car.
She calls a cab and goes to a luxurious condominium. After staying there for one hour, she comes out again with a handsome man besides her.
He looks darkly at the happy smiles on their faces and grips the car wheel tightly.
“Thank you! Dylon.” Xin Yi waves her hand. “Good night, bye bye!” She sits in the taxi again.
Cun Xi follows her and after blocking the taxi at a traffic light, he knocks on the car window. “Chen Xin Yi, get out!”
She has a fright and finally turns down the card window. “Cun Xi?”
“Get out!” He orders fiercely.
Seeing the menacing expression on his face, she quickly pays the fare and get down from the taxi. Holding a large paper box, she sits in his car. “Cun Xi, why are you here?”
“You are so alarmed to see me?” Cun Xi says coldly and starts the engine. “Where have you been?”
“Me?” She is startled and glances at the paper box in her arms. “I went to a friend’s place…”
“It’s a man, right?” He interrupts her.
She is stunned.
“Chen Xin Yi, aren’t you shameless? You are my wife and yet you are having a rendezvous with another man!”
“Me, a rendezvous?”
“Don’t try to deny. I have seen it with my own eyes.” He glares at her. “Yes, we did not marry out of love and will be divorced in a few months time. But it seems you can’t bear with it for so long. Are you so eager to climb into another man’s bed?”
She is stunned. “I did not!” How can he humiliate her like this?
“A man and a woman alone in an apartment for an hour. Don’t tell me you are just drinking tea and chatting.” He says coldly.
“We were really only chatting...”
“That’s enough! Don’t lie to me, I don’t want to listen!” Cun Xi refuses to listen to Xin Yi’s explanations and steps on the pedal. The car speeds up.
She hurriedly holds on to the door handle. “Cun Xi, drive slower! Don’t you remember? Granny says that you should not drive above sixty kilometers per hour.”
“Damn the sixty kilometers per hour!” Cun Xi answers angrily but he slow down the car. It’s not because of granny’s rule but because he suddenly remembers that she is pregnant and can’t take sudden jolts.
He continues to drive in a temper. When he returns to the Ji house, he tosses his keys at a servant and drags Xin Yi indoors.
“What? What happened?” Zhen Zhu is watching TV in the living room. When she sees their state, she is distraught.
“You ask her yourself!” Cun Xi’s face is black. “Look what the woman that you insisted that I marry has done!”
“What did you do?” Zhen Zhu asks Xin Yi.
“I… I didn’t” Xin Yi’s face is white. “He misunderstood…”
“I’ve seen it myself!” Cun Xi shouts. “You refuse to admit? And this is not the first time, even Anson sees you fooling around with another man.”
“You are fooling around with another man?” Zhen Zhu is shocked.
“No, granny. It’s, it’s…” Xin Yi hurriedly explains. “It’s Dylon…”
“Dylon? You mean the Dylon who buys art work on my behalf?” Zhen Zhu frowns. “You are having an affair with him?”
“I am not… I only went to collect this.” Xin Yi doesn’t know how to explain and can only bring out the paper box she is carrying. “Granny, open it and you will understand.”
Zhen Zhu takes the box uncertainly and opens it. Under layers of wrappings is a flower vase that is shaped like a lady. “This is?”
“It must be given by that man!” Cun Xi is even angrier after seeing the vase. “He gave her a ceramic bowl before and now it’s a vase.”
“It’s not given, I made it myself!” Xin Yi quickly explains.
“What?” Cun Xi and granny exclaim at the same time.
Xin Yi finally explains that in order to give granny a present, she asked Dylon to teach her how to make a piece that resembles Zhong Shan Long’s work. The reason why they have been meeting during this period of time is to create a good piece of work.
“So you made this for me personally?” Zhen Zhu is touched when she sees her granddaughter-in-law’s attentiveness and rebukes her beloved grandson instead. “Cun Xi, what is the matter with you? You accuse others without reason! Have granny ever taught you this?”
Cun Xi is dazed and realizes that he has misunderstood his wife. He feels apologetic but can’t bring himself to apologize out of pride.
Xin Yi does not desire his apology either. She looks at him sadly for a moment. “You really feel that I am the type of woman who will betray a marriage?” Even if this marriage is not based on love, even if he doesn’t love her, she will never betray him. “In the future, please don’t misunderstand me again.”
After she finishes talking, she goes upstairs quietly.
-----------------------------------
“You should apologize to her.” Zhen Zhu advices her grandson after Xin Yi returned to her room.
Cun Xi says moodily. “I know.”
“So what if you know? Go and do it! I don’t believe that you can’t see how Xin Yi has care for you during this period and how much effort she puts into this family. She is serious about being a good wife to you—Do you know who make the sandwiches that is sent to you company every day? Who is being so attentive and knows what you want to eat today and what you don’t want to eat? Your strawberry blanket, she is afraid of spoiling it and hand washes it herself. When I passed the study the other day, she was wiping Anna’s photo frames. I wanted to take away those photos but Xin Yi refused to let me. She said Anna is very important to you.”
When she says this, Zhen Zhu gets angry and raises her voice. “Don’t you think you are too much? You married Xin Yi but can’t forget Anna?”
Hearing his grandmother talk about his girlfriend, Cun Xi clenches his teeth and is filled with mixed emotions. “Originally the one I love is Anna, you should know that!” Marrying Xin Yi is only a delay strategy.
“Anna, Anna, ever since you date that woman, you are the one who is compromising. What about her? What has she done for you?” Zhen Zhu says dismissively. “She only cares about dancing and goes to New York by herself without discussing with you! She should know that our Ji family has only one sole heir every generation but she still declares that she will not have children even if she marries you—I don’t understand, why do you still miss a selfish woman like her?”
“Because I love her!” Cun Xi shouts. Love has no reason. Even if Anna goes to New York and there’s almost no news of her, he still love her.
“It’s up to you! I can’t be bothered to talk with you anymore. You think over who is the one that is worth cherishing.” Zhen Zhu leaves angrily.
Of course the one he should cherish is Anna, Cun Xi thinks angrily. He shuts himself in the study looking at Anna’s picture and is lost in thoughts until midnight.
He tries to recall all the memories that he and Anna share. Remember Anna’s smiles, Anna’s dancing, and Anna’s mischievous look when she is flirting with him. But strangely, Xin Yi keeps barging into all these memories.
She on the ship comforting him that Anna will return to him, she bringing supper to the warehouse and combing his hair, all those inferior and lonely hopes that she hides in the wish box, she begging him to spend more time with the baby, and the sorrowful look that she gave him just now when she asked him not to misunderstand her again…
Cun Xi’s heart tightens. Maybe he has let her down. Maybe he should apologize to her.
He returns to the bedroom quietly. Xin Yi is already asleep. She still sleeps on the sofa and her body is curled up like a shrimp which somehow tugs at his heartstring.
He kneels down and looks at her tiny face.
She is really not very pretty or at least not as outstanding as Anna. She is ordinary, so ordinary that she has no character. She does everything quietly and does not ask for credit. No wonder people say that she is a sticky note girl. She has no sense of existence.
But for some reason, the more you interact with her, the stronger her existence attracts him and causes him to care.
What is the reason? Cun Xi can’t understand. Suddenly something falls out in front of her chest. He picks it up curiously. It’s a good luck charm that is hand sewn and inside it is a round thing like a coin. He takes a closer look, it is a chip.
He stares at the chip. Isn’t this the chip that he gave to her that night? She carries it so preciously on her body all this time?
Cun Xi’s chest tightens and his heartbeat quickens. He looks that the sleeping Xin Yi and suddenly on impulse carries her and puts her on the bed.
She doesn’t wake up and only rubs her nose as if she is chasing away a fly. Suddenly she turns over, grabs the blanket and curling up her body like a shrimp, continues to sleep.
He finds it funny and uses his hand phone to take a photo of her ungracious sleeping posture. Looking at her continuing to sleep so soundly, his heart gives a tug and he bends his body. His lips slowly approach hers—
“What are you doing?” She opens her eyes and look sleepily at him.
He freezes.
Xin Yi slowly builds up a relationship with Granny. She uncovers her specialty and imitates one of Master’s Zhong Shan Long ceramic works to give to Granny. Cun Xi, who sees his wife chatting intimately with another man, cannot suppress his jealousy and without clarifying the situation, confronts Xin Yi in front of Granny.
Cun Xi’s support gives Xin Yi courage and she is no longer afraid of the servants. At the very least, she is still the lady of the house. She should make requests when the situation calls for it.
“I wish to look at the past menus.” She asks the kitchen staff and observes Cun Xi and Zhen Zhu’s eating habits. She notes down their likes and dislikes and often interacts with the housekeeper to ask about the Ji family’s daily affairs. Even though she does not have to handle the matters herself, she has to keep an eye on them sometimes.
She also takes the initiative to get closer to Zhen Zhu. Granny likes ceramic art and keeps a workplace in the backyard. It even has a kiln where she can make ceramics for fun. Xin Yi sometimes joins her and gives her opinions.
“So you know this too?” Zhen Zhu is pleasantly surprised.
“I like it since childhood but I don’t have such a good studio like granny.” Xin Yi smiles. “Granny’s craft is much better than mine.”
“I only make them for fun.” When Zhen Zhu sees that this granddaughter-in-law is able to form a beautiful shape with ease and she is full of admiration. “Looks like you have some talent! Xin Yi, do you want me to hire a master to teach you?”
“No need!” Xin Yi quickly waves her hand. “I am doing it for fun. I have never thought about being a ceramic artist.”
“Why not?” Zhen Zhu raises her eyebrows. “You are still young and have potential. If you study under a master, you have a bright future ahead of you.”
She? Bright future? Xin Yi shakes her head. It never crosses her mind that such a wonderful thing can happen to her. She doesn’t dare to dream too big, because she can never achieve it.
“You have too little confidence in yourself.” Zhen Zhu seems to read her mind. “You should trust granny. I specialize in collecting ceramic arts, so my judgment is quite accurate. If I say you have talent, you definitely have… That’s right, some day I should ask Dylon to look at your work and let him appraise it.”
“Dylon?” Xin Yi is surprised. This name, is it the same man who gave her the lucky bowl? “Who is he?”
“He is an art broker. Normally I buy my ceramic arts through him. He is very familiar with master Zhong Shan Long.”
“Master Zhong Shan Long?” Xin Yi says in surprise. “He is the ceramic master that I idolize the most!”
“I love his works too.” Zhen Zhu smiles and her eyes turn misty. “When we were young we were once in love.”
“Really?” Xin Yi is curious. “What happened?”
“That took place a long time ago…” Zhen Zhu sighs and slowly talks about her first love that she has missed.
In this manner, the relationship between the two women deepens as each day passes by. Originally Zhen Zhu only treated Xin Yi as the mother of her great-grandson. But slowly she grows to like her and often privately reminds her grandson to treat his wife better.
Even though Cun Xi feels that he should not neglect Xin Yi, he still feels guarded. So he continues to blow hot and cold, and maintains a distance from his wife.
Xin Yi understands his confusion and does not ask for more. She quietly cares for Cun Xi in her own way. When she learns that Cun Xi does not like to eat out and prefers plain food, she make his lunch herself and asks the servant to send it to his office. She knows that he is busy with meetings and doesn't have time for meals, so she make healthy sandwiches that can be eaten while he is reading documents. He is sick of eating the same type of food every day, so she tries to vary the tastes.
She carefully hand-washes his strawberry blanket. His study is full of Anna’s photos and she wipes the photo frames for him. His time is precious, so she helps him to prepare his shirt and tie every morning so that he does not have to worry about them.
He goes out early in the morning and returns home late at night. They seldom have time to talk so she leaves messages on sticky notes for him everywhere. Like reminding him not to work too late at night in the study, eat supper if he is hungry and wear more clothes when it is cold.
She actually doesn’t know what a wife should do but she tries to do whatever she can. Because she wants to care for him and wishes that he will be well and happy.
She doesn’t want to trouble him. Even though this marriage can last only for roughly nine months, she doesn’t want to bring any disturbance to him. She will buy baby care books herself and go to hospital for checkups on her own.
“Today you come alone again?” The gynaecologist asks Xin Yi.
“Umm, that’s right.” She smiles a little awkwardly. The doctor tells her immediately that he wishes that her husband will accompany her. “Cun Xi… My husband is too busy at work, he can’t take the time off.”
“Then find a way to take time off. This is his baby too.” The doctor is a little disapproving. “The pregnant mother has many particulars. I want to explain to him and ask him to take note.”
“You can tell them to me, doctor.”
“All right.” The doctor looks at her for a while. “Is your condition of vomiting still very serious recently?”
“Yes, a little bit…”
After the examination has ended, Xin Yi leaves the clinic. She is holding the ultrasonic scan in her hand and smiles at it foolishly—the baby is really growing little by little! Will it be a boy or a girl? The doctor says that he can’t determine the gender yet but she hopes that it will be a cute and handsome boy like his father.
But no matter what the baby looks like, she can only look at him once. When the time comes, she has to leave the Ji family, leave her baby and leave… him.
When she is thinks about this part, Xin Yi silently stands where she is.
“Hey! Isn’t this my ex-girlfriend who causes uproar with her pregnancy, Chen Xin Yi?” A sarcastic voice calls out behind her.
It’s Gucci! She looks back and is stunned at to see her ex-boyfriend looking at her maliciously.
Gucci laughed sinisterly and look at her from head to toe. “Well? Coming to see the gynaecologist alone by yourself? Are you thinking of having an abortion? That rich boyfriend of yours refuses to bear responsibility?”
She frowns and tries to ignore him, but his voice continues to taunt her.
“I already told you. Why will any man want a fish rod girl like you, who have no looks and no figures? He was only fooling around with you!” Gucci’s manner is caustic.
She stares at him. “What are you doing here?”
“Me? I am accompanying my woman for an examination.” When he says this, a petite woman comes over. Xin Yi recognizes Rebecca, the woman whom Gucci met on the cruise. Gucci pulls her over and smiles in triumph. “Let me introduce, this is my fiancée.”
“Hey! Gucci, isn’t this your fish rod ex-girlfriend?” Rebecca is as caustic as Gucci. “Why? She is seeing the gynaecologist alone by herself? Is she going for an abortion?”
“I came here for an examination!” Xin Yi can’t take it anymore and answers back.
“Having an examination?” Gucci sneers. “Really? You really intend to have the baby? Aren’t you afraid that being a single mother will be difficult?”
“I am married!”
“Married?” Rebecca raises her eyebrows. “Who? Who will marry you?”
“Me!” A sharp voice rings out.
The three of them turn their heads in surprise. Using large strides, Cun Xi walks over coldly. He takes Xin Yi in his arms and says protectively.
“I, Ji Cun Xi, have married Chen Xin Yi. Do you have any problems with that?”
“No, no!” Gucci turns pale. When he remembers how badly he lost at the casino on the cruise, he still feels apprehensive and quickly leaves with Rebecca.
“You… why are you here?” Xin Yi can’t believe her eyes.
“You dare to ask!” Cun Xi looks at her in disapproval. “Why did you go for the gynaecologist examination alone by yourself? Granny told me that the doctor had asked me to accompany you during your last examination.”
“But… I thought you are busy…”
“The baby is mine too, don’t forget that!” Cun Xi rebukes her and pulls her along to the clinic. After the doctor told them of the things they should pay close attention to, they leave the clinic.”
“Aren’t you busy in your company? Quickly go back.” Xin Yi urges him to go.
“What about you?”
“I want to buy some baby products. Granny says that it’s time to decorate the baby room…”
“Then I’ll go with you.”
“What? You go with me…”
“Stop nagging. Let’s go!” Cun Xi stops Xin Yi forcefully.
He is not happy. He didn’t expect Xin Yi to go for the examination alone and get mocked by people. He married her because he didn’t want her to suffer the disapproval of others but she still suffers.
It’s his fault for neglecting, his fault for not bearing the responsibility of a husband. From today onwards, this will be corrected, he decides gloomily.
He accompanies Xin Yi to the baby store. Xin Yi is delighted at everything she sees. She holds up a pair to tiny shoes and asks excitedly. “Cun Xi, which color is nice? Blue or red?”
“Anything.”
“I like red color but if the baby is a boy, then won't the blue be better?” Xin Yi hesitates.
“Isn’t this easy?” Cun Xi says. “Just buy both colors.” He orders the shop assistant to wrap up everything that Xin Yi likes and buys two sets of every item. “Now regardless of whether we have a boy or girl, we can use them.”
“But isn’t this too wasteful?” Xin Yi is speechless. He nearly buys up all the items in the shop.
“Our family can afford it.” Cun Xi doesn’t think much about it.
Rich people are really different! Xin Yi smiles weakly. She better not shop with him in future, otherwise he will probably buy up another store.
“That’s right. We should buy some clothes for you.” Once Cun Xi decides on this, he drags her to another shop selling maternity clothes. In the end he really buys up half the items in the shop.
“I can’t wear so many!” Xin Yi protests. Who will buy so many maternity clothes? It’s only for nine months, what a waste!
“Then wear a different one each day, you won’t get tired of them like this.” He says lightly.
Xin Yi looks at the nonchalant Cun Xi and feels flattered. No matter what, he is using his own ways to care for her.
“Thank you.” She thanks him.
“Thank for what?” Cun Xi frowns and he becomes serious. “Don’t say thanks and sorry at every turn. This is nothing.” This is only the duty of a husband.
“Regardless, I still want to thank you.” Xin Yi smiles gratefully.
-------------------------------
Since that day, the distance between them grows closer. Cun Xi will accompany Xin Yi to see the gynaecologist and takes the initiative to care about her health. He learns from the doctor that letting pregnant mothers drink garlic chives ginger juice and eat white sugar vinegar egg will improve their vomiting condition, so he personally makes sure that the kitchen makes some for Xin Yi.
His attentiveness touches Xin Yi. No one has ever been so nice to her. All her previous boyfriends expected her to be the one to make sacrifices, but none sacrifice for her in turn. But he always helps her whenever she is in trouble.
A person like him deserves happiness. She decides to do more for him and teaches him how to be a good father before she leaves the Ji family. She hopes that he, the baby and Anna can form a happy family in future.
“Cun Xi, look.” She makes him read the baby care books together with her. “Look at this baby, isn’t he cute?”
“Hmm. It’s quite cute.” Cun Xi glances at the picture carelessly.
“Look, the book says that babies who are newly born are easily injured. When you bath the baby, you must spread a towel below to prevent slippage, and remember to protect the neck when you carry the baby…”
“Let the nanny take note of these.” Cun Xi interrupts her. “Don’t worry. We will hire a professional nanny to care for the baby when the time comes.”
“But the nanny is not the real parent. She won’t give the baby her full love!” She is slightly agitated and worries that the baby will have no one to love him. The nanny and even the grandma cannot replace a parent’s love.
If she, the mother, cannot remain at the side of the baby, then as the father he must love him.
“Please spend more time with the baby in future, even if only to talk to him.” She pleads.
Cun Xi looks at her gravely and seems to understand her anxiety. His eyes darken and he nods his head. “I understand.”
That puts her at ease and she continues to share the contents of the books with him. He looks at the smile on her face and is dazed. Maybe all pregnant women give off a motherly glow. He feels that she looks kind and beautiful, making him think of his own mother.
When his mother carried him, did she share baby knowledge with his father so earnestly?
“Xin Yi, you…”
“What?”
He wants to ask, after a few months when she must leave her own baby, will she be sad? But he doesn't dare and can only look at her.
Xin Yi feels strange and is about to ask him when her hand phone rings suddenly. She answers the phone. “Hello, who is this?”
“I am Dylon, do you remember?” The other party says laughingly.
“Dylon? It’s you!” She cries in delight. Cun Xi hears her and frowns. She waves her hand apologetically and leaves the room to talk at the hallway. “Why do you call?”
“I got your number from the orphanage and wanted to ask after you.” Dylon explains. “Do you mind?”
“Why would I? I should have called to thank you for giving me that ceramic bowl.”
“That’s nothing. Well? Is your marriage life happy? Does your husband treat you well?”
“He treats me very well.” Xin Yi smiles and takes a look inside the room. Cun Xi is flipping though the baby care book. “Right, Dylon, I was about to ask you. Do you know Ji Zhen Zhu?”
“How do you know?” Dylon enquires.
“So you are really the art broker that granny talks about?”
“Granny?”
“Um. Actually my husband is Ji Cun Xi.” She lowers her voice.
“What? You married Ji Cun Xi?” Dylon utters in wonder. “Is he the one who had a one night stand with you on the cruise?”
“How do you know?” Now it’s Xin Yi’s turn to be surprised. She thinks for a while and asks unhappily. “Did Father Norman tell you?” How can the priest tell her confession to another person?
“Don’t blame the priest. Actually it’s me who heard it accidentally.” Dylon admits sheepishly that he impersonated the priest and listened to her confession. “I did not mean it, please forgive me.”
What's the use to stay angry? He already knows everything. Xin Yi has no choice but then a thought occurs to her. “Since you owe me, can you do me a favor?”
“What favor? Just say the word!”
“I want to give granny a present but I can’t afford it, so I need to make it myself. I heard that you are on close terms with master Zhong Shan Long. Can you teach me how to make a ceramic art that imitates his style?”
“You want to make it yourself?” Dylon smiles. “No problem! I’ll give you some opinions.”
Therefore the two of them arranges a time. Xin Yi hangs up the phone and returns to the bedroom.
“Who called?” Cun Xi asks.
“A friend.” She hesitates and continues. “He is the one who gave me the ceramic bowl by master Zhong Shan Long.”
“Him?” Cun Xi closes his eyes and thinks of her putting her cherished ceramic bowl in the room carefully. She looks at the bowl several times a day. He feels a stir of jealousy. “Since he is so generous, he is close to you?”
“Well...” Actually they don’t know each other well. “Come, let us continue to read the book.”
-----------------------------
Cun Xi realizes that he minds.
He dwells upon his wife treating that ceramic bowl as precious and her delighted expression when she receives that man’s call that night.
He doesn’t understand why he cares. Xin Yi has the right to make friends of the other sex. A friend treating her well and giving her such an expensive art work is none of his business.
He is only… a little worried about her. Her luck when it comes to men is really bad. She is always dumped and used by others. He doesn’t want her to be cheated again.
It’s only for this reason, he tells himself, but can’t help keeping track of his wife’s whereabouts. Ever since she received that call, she often goes out and sometime even returns home at a later time than him. When he asks, she only says that she is keeping touch with her friends.
Is she meeting another man secretly? Cun Xi fumes subconsciously. Even though their marriage is only a contract for nine months, she should still respect her status of being Mrs. Ji. What is the meaning of this secrecy?
He gets even angrier when Anson accidentally sees Xin Yi with a man on the streets. The man was holding her and they behaved intimately.
He keeps his temper and tells Anson to mind his own business but he takes the matter to heart. One night, Xin Yi leaves immediately when she receives a call. He can’t help trailing her secretly in his car.
She calls a cab and goes to a luxurious condominium. After staying there for one hour, she comes out again with a handsome man besides her.
He looks darkly at the happy smiles on their faces and grips the car wheel tightly.
“Thank you! Dylon.” Xin Yi waves her hand. “Good night, bye bye!” She sits in the taxi again.
Cun Xi follows her and after blocking the taxi at a traffic light, he knocks on the car window. “Chen Xin Yi, get out!”
She has a fright and finally turns down the card window. “Cun Xi?”
“Get out!” He orders fiercely.
Seeing the menacing expression on his face, she quickly pays the fare and get down from the taxi. Holding a large paper box, she sits in his car. “Cun Xi, why are you here?”
“You are so alarmed to see me?” Cun Xi says coldly and starts the engine. “Where have you been?”
“Me?” She is startled and glances at the paper box in her arms. “I went to a friend’s place…”
“It’s a man, right?” He interrupts her.
She is stunned.
“Chen Xin Yi, aren’t you shameless? You are my wife and yet you are having a rendezvous with another man!”
“Me, a rendezvous?”
“Don’t try to deny. I have seen it with my own eyes.” He glares at her. “Yes, we did not marry out of love and will be divorced in a few months time. But it seems you can’t bear with it for so long. Are you so eager to climb into another man’s bed?”
She is stunned. “I did not!” How can he humiliate her like this?
“A man and a woman alone in an apartment for an hour. Don’t tell me you are just drinking tea and chatting.” He says coldly.
“We were really only chatting...”
“That’s enough! Don’t lie to me, I don’t want to listen!” Cun Xi refuses to listen to Xin Yi’s explanations and steps on the pedal. The car speeds up.
She hurriedly holds on to the door handle. “Cun Xi, drive slower! Don’t you remember? Granny says that you should not drive above sixty kilometers per hour.”
“Damn the sixty kilometers per hour!” Cun Xi answers angrily but he slow down the car. It’s not because of granny’s rule but because he suddenly remembers that she is pregnant and can’t take sudden jolts.
He continues to drive in a temper. When he returns to the Ji house, he tosses his keys at a servant and drags Xin Yi indoors.
“What? What happened?” Zhen Zhu is watching TV in the living room. When she sees their state, she is distraught.
“You ask her yourself!” Cun Xi’s face is black. “Look what the woman that you insisted that I marry has done!”
“What did you do?” Zhen Zhu asks Xin Yi.
“I… I didn’t” Xin Yi’s face is white. “He misunderstood…”
“I’ve seen it myself!” Cun Xi shouts. “You refuse to admit? And this is not the first time, even Anson sees you fooling around with another man.”
“You are fooling around with another man?” Zhen Zhu is shocked.
“No, granny. It’s, it’s…” Xin Yi hurriedly explains. “It’s Dylon…”
“Dylon? You mean the Dylon who buys art work on my behalf?” Zhen Zhu frowns. “You are having an affair with him?”
“I am not… I only went to collect this.” Xin Yi doesn’t know how to explain and can only bring out the paper box she is carrying. “Granny, open it and you will understand.”
Zhen Zhu takes the box uncertainly and opens it. Under layers of wrappings is a flower vase that is shaped like a lady. “This is?”
“It must be given by that man!” Cun Xi is even angrier after seeing the vase. “He gave her a ceramic bowl before and now it’s a vase.”
“It’s not given, I made it myself!” Xin Yi quickly explains.
“What?” Cun Xi and granny exclaim at the same time.
Xin Yi finally explains that in order to give granny a present, she asked Dylon to teach her how to make a piece that resembles Zhong Shan Long’s work. The reason why they have been meeting during this period of time is to create a good piece of work.
“So you made this for me personally?” Zhen Zhu is touched when she sees her granddaughter-in-law’s attentiveness and rebukes her beloved grandson instead. “Cun Xi, what is the matter with you? You accuse others without reason! Have granny ever taught you this?”
Cun Xi is dazed and realizes that he has misunderstood his wife. He feels apologetic but can’t bring himself to apologize out of pride.
Xin Yi does not desire his apology either. She looks at him sadly for a moment. “You really feel that I am the type of woman who will betray a marriage?” Even if this marriage is not based on love, even if he doesn’t love her, she will never betray him. “In the future, please don’t misunderstand me again.”
After she finishes talking, she goes upstairs quietly.
-----------------------------------
“You should apologize to her.” Zhen Zhu advices her grandson after Xin Yi returned to her room.
Cun Xi says moodily. “I know.”
“So what if you know? Go and do it! I don’t believe that you can’t see how Xin Yi has care for you during this period and how much effort she puts into this family. She is serious about being a good wife to you—Do you know who make the sandwiches that is sent to you company every day? Who is being so attentive and knows what you want to eat today and what you don’t want to eat? Your strawberry blanket, she is afraid of spoiling it and hand washes it herself. When I passed the study the other day, she was wiping Anna’s photo frames. I wanted to take away those photos but Xin Yi refused to let me. She said Anna is very important to you.”
When she says this, Zhen Zhu gets angry and raises her voice. “Don’t you think you are too much? You married Xin Yi but can’t forget Anna?”
Hearing his grandmother talk about his girlfriend, Cun Xi clenches his teeth and is filled with mixed emotions. “Originally the one I love is Anna, you should know that!” Marrying Xin Yi is only a delay strategy.
“Anna, Anna, ever since you date that woman, you are the one who is compromising. What about her? What has she done for you?” Zhen Zhu says dismissively. “She only cares about dancing and goes to New York by herself without discussing with you! She should know that our Ji family has only one sole heir every generation but she still declares that she will not have children even if she marries you—I don’t understand, why do you still miss a selfish woman like her?”
“Because I love her!” Cun Xi shouts. Love has no reason. Even if Anna goes to New York and there’s almost no news of her, he still love her.
“It’s up to you! I can’t be bothered to talk with you anymore. You think over who is the one that is worth cherishing.” Zhen Zhu leaves angrily.
Of course the one he should cherish is Anna, Cun Xi thinks angrily. He shuts himself in the study looking at Anna’s picture and is lost in thoughts until midnight.
He tries to recall all the memories that he and Anna share. Remember Anna’s smiles, Anna’s dancing, and Anna’s mischievous look when she is flirting with him. But strangely, Xin Yi keeps barging into all these memories.
She on the ship comforting him that Anna will return to him, she bringing supper to the warehouse and combing his hair, all those inferior and lonely hopes that she hides in the wish box, she begging him to spend more time with the baby, and the sorrowful look that she gave him just now when she asked him not to misunderstand her again…
Cun Xi’s heart tightens. Maybe he has let her down. Maybe he should apologize to her.
He returns to the bedroom quietly. Xin Yi is already asleep. She still sleeps on the sofa and her body is curled up like a shrimp which somehow tugs at his heartstring.
He kneels down and looks at her tiny face.
She is really not very pretty or at least not as outstanding as Anna. She is ordinary, so ordinary that she has no character. She does everything quietly and does not ask for credit. No wonder people say that she is a sticky note girl. She has no sense of existence.
But for some reason, the more you interact with her, the stronger her existence attracts him and causes him to care.
What is the reason? Cun Xi can’t understand. Suddenly something falls out in front of her chest. He picks it up curiously. It’s a good luck charm that is hand sewn and inside it is a round thing like a coin. He takes a closer look, it is a chip.
He stares at the chip. Isn’t this the chip that he gave to her that night? She carries it so preciously on her body all this time?
Cun Xi’s chest tightens and his heartbeat quickens. He looks that the sleeping Xin Yi and suddenly on impulse carries her and puts her on the bed.
She doesn’t wake up and only rubs her nose as if she is chasing away a fly. Suddenly she turns over, grabs the blanket and curling up her body like a shrimp, continues to sleep.
He finds it funny and uses his hand phone to take a photo of her ungracious sleeping posture. Looking at her continuing to sleep so soundly, his heart gives a tug and he bends his body. His lips slowly approach hers—
“What are you doing?” She opens her eyes and look sleepily at him.
He freezes.
No comments:
Post a Comment